Have you ever gone to the point in your life wherein you know it’s the ultimate end of things undone?
It may sound really bewildering but let me share you a fragment of an everyday thought I seem to have a hard time forgetting, kills me each and every time I wake up and knocks me unconscious each time I lie awake in my bed, I’m troubled,
There’s this idea-oh well first and foremost it was once a reality I loved so much, that when I lost it, it has been my forever wonderland- I have estranged myself with this thinking, I am perhaps insane to some degree but I still know I’m not, well this idea is something I looked forward to and hoped to have never existed in my head at the same time, I feel confused now. I still am- I am even finding it a very heavy deal to put in into words now, but I’ll try anyway.
DREAMS- can you exactly define dreams? I can’t. For the obvious reason that sometimes or perhaps always, I feel afraid of the outcome, do I pursue? Do I continue? Do I run after it- should I? An initial liking for something is something I find tedious to settle in a more serious manner, like, how do you define your wants from your needs? They are two different things right? And as well two similar things that is very hard to divide. Continuous puzzle.
ASPIRATIONS- Who sets them? Is it you? Is it the people around you? Is it respect that binds you to fulfill aspirations? Or it is just mere pressure from a society you belonged to-to which; incorporation is a mere toss of a coin? Luckily luckless you in a very futile role which was underscored productive per se.
IDEALS- Can I break them? Can I toss them out of my way? Can they just disappear? Can I just sing them the rain away song and make things completely and entirely ineffectual to myself, to my universe and to my heart? I believe I am clear with this one.
I seldom realize the true the good and the beautiful, my world is a polluted river, it flows in continuous harmony with time yet it doesn’t mind the debris of fallen towers of hope, love and faith, it just carries it without a concern, you can’t even imagine a pause, a confusion- nothing, I am expecting a very long , tiring yet colorful journey, wearing by the second, God help me, I am optimistic though, the ocean awaits me, I know, I know that from the bottom of I believe a bottomless heart that He gave me.
I am now 16 floors above the ground, thinking is this high enough for You to hear me?
And if I did something wrong I’m sorry.
I believe there will be an end to all of this, I believe.
