Hi, I shall start pretending I am talking to you over coffee and cigarettes. Let's keep this super casual.
Damn, punk rock made me do this, for real. A lot of old songs made me remember I had this blog. I had this blog because sometimes talking in person is hard for me and I've leveraged into using this space to just explain the unending thoughts I have in my head.
So it is the start of another year, I feel like I am not as "deep" as I used to be. Fuck those old pieces I published here, dammit it made me realize I used to be really intentional on a lot of things and aspects of my life. Should I say growing up sucks? Well, today I would say it doesn't.
What did I just do now? I had red wine, a pink clay face mask, just took a really relaxing two-hour hot bath with my burnt brown sugar and vanilla cream soap and sang my heart out. At the back of my mind I wanted to put in some work before I sleep so Monday Work isn't that "Monday-ish", but that would be for later as I am still trying to put some shitty words on here that may give me a laugh say five years after today.
How are you? Aren't those words just heavy hitters? I love being asked how I am. It makes me feel important. Well, whoever is reading this, I hope you have zero problems right now, I hope you have peace in every waking day, and I hope you are hopeful. Actually, it would be really awesome if you are high on anything that makes you happy, the word for it is passionate. I think being passionate is the best feeling in the world.
The pandemic is happening still by the way. I have learned to live with it. Yeah, I think I can say that now. Life is weird. I think it just takes time to live out the weirdness until it's normal. So this new normal, it is my new reality now, nothing weird about it anymore. I think it is a good thing that the mindset I have about the life I have now is with acceptance, isn't that wonderful? I mean, wow did I just say that?
Suicide Sunday is playing on the background and I just watched The Discovery on Netflix today. Suicide is all over my stuff today what the fuck Bro. I am going to say that suicide is dumb and suicide is not the answer. Hang on let me fucking click next on my Spotify.
Alright, DJ Sammy is now playing with Heaven. After Suicide Sunday is Heaven. This is too EDM for me so let me click next again. Tangina this playlist. LOL JK
Okay, that was grumpy of me so let me get back to the zone of being still before Suicide Sunday played. Deep breaths, okay okay I think I got it now. I like the song playing now, it is Check Yes, Juliet. This is a good song.
So, what am I now? This is really a tough question to answer but you know I am a fucking 30 year old lady that needs to be able to define who she is. I am content and I got my shit together.
You thought I am going to brag with the great job that I have or the great life I lead? Hell naww.
I am content and I got my shit together.
Let me say that again. I am content and I got my shit together.
Isn't that fuckin rad? I am content and I got my shit together.
Rad.
I think this is the first time I wrote here because I missed writing. Four years of Creative Writing education and I never used it. Anyway, I really just wanted to occupy some space right now in this virtual world of mine that I kept because I love seeing how dumb I really am. When I die, if anybody gets to read this, it be really cool I think. If anyone will miss me they can just come back to the words on here and have my dumb self entertain them.
LOL
Okay, Fireflies is now playing and I love this song. I think this song gave birth to electronica. Anyway, today is January 3, 2021. I am glad I wrote on here today.
"I am weird coz I hate goodbyes"
